2020 has been arriving for years now. What? How can that be?
We don’t just wake up one day and BOOM, 2020 is upon us, the ‘energies’ are here, we feel like a new person, new direction, different feelings, aims, consciousness and conscience. NO, that takes time with ‘happenings’ aligned before it can occur, just as as 2019 precedes 2020, the shifts build to a point that instigates change and a new consciousness. Sometime swift sometimes slow….over many weeks, months and years.
Reflecting, as we always do at a year end, or more accurately, looking ahead to how we want our coming year to be, I can see that ‘YEAR 2020’ has been pulling into my view for a few years now.
I’m still adjusting to changes I made in 2018 – uprooting my life, family, business and network to over 100 miles away for the love of a (very good) man, now my husband. In structural terms I drastically altered 7 of the 8 main facets of life, those being work, health, family, children, finances, community and business. Death being the only one I never encountered directly, although I did lose a few dear family members in that time, it can also be said that new beginnings create a death of sorts.
In 2018 my heart steered me overwhelmingly to my husband, but it was something much stronger, more primal, a ‘calling’ a ‘knowing’, clearer and deeper than that. I KNEW it was the next stage of my life with this man, this environment, bringing my Light to my new home and in turn receiving my own rewards. Initially it was quite a shock, emotionally and culturally coupled with loss; grieving, the inevitable ‘letting-go’ and emptiness as I slowly adjusted to my new surroundings, environment and family life, as well as re-designing my business direction and intentions. An opportunity for ‘new beginnings’ aren’t just for the year end it seems.
All these were challenging, making me dig DEEP within for strength, clarity, unconditional love and a new understanding of patience. I got clear on what and where I was. Two years on I have more of the jigsaw pieces in place at a ‘human’ level; It’s OK to follow the Divine calling but understanding how it plays out in your daily life is another, how it fits into your new business model, how it ripples into the lives of close loved ones, what the Divine Light is doing in it’s surrounding environment. These all take time to settle into place and make sense of.
However had I not done the excrutiating personal development in 2015, after encountering a narcissitic boyfriend who played mind (and heart) games, forcing me to look at love, self-love, self-care and what I want in my life, in all it’s flavours and fancies, I may never have clarified what I do – and do not - want in my life, ergo universally attracted my now husband and new life.
You see how they all fit into place. How one builds upon the other.
Not only the turn of a year sneaks up on us but the turn of a decade, and it seems to follow a pattern for a few decades now.
In 2006 – 2008 I was training to become a Yoga Teacher. The deep back bends, heart opening yoga postures, kriyas and chanting, which always rattle things out and raise my consciousness were clearing me at such a deep level I remember spending the entire month of November 2006 holding back tears as I re-lived each argument with past relationships, impatient thoughts at strangers in the street who may have innocently bumped into me, indiscretions on my part, anger and judgement I had held and projected onto others, knowing inside myself that this was ‘old stuff’ clambering out of my system in a clumsy, haphazard way. Their exit gave me the opportunity for new perspective, awareness of the impact my actions (and re-actions) have on others, a greater ear to listen to another’s viewpoints and feelings in a more objective manner. The purge allowed me to see more clearly and rationally.
This was the time I was given insight, through studying with two very different Schools, to the polarities of humanity and ego, even more startling to witness in the ‘healing modalities’ as I had the good fortune (at the time it felt like mis-fortune) to experience the conditional and unconditional mentoring (love) that Tutors, Training Schools and Individual’s imparting knowledge can give you; one School tore you down to build back in their mould, and another stripped away illusion (maya) to help you find the core of who you are. This was in 2007/2008 and to this day these teachings have held firm, steering me in the loving, self-actualising manner, ‘raising the alarm’ when I happen upon another mentoring-like School or Individual with domineering, controlling tendencies when I much prefer those that help me, teach me in a supportive manner. We are all a work in progress and I gratefully thank them all.
These turn-your-life-upside-down, electric-shock type upheavals of 2008 (ish) in 2018 (and even late 1997 when I ditched my career to start my Degree), were the Divine’s fast-track to prepare for the new year, new decade and new, upgraded me. Err, Thank you Universe !
I am exactly where I am m